Its not about love anymore... Its about loneliness...

For several years... I have been sticking with the conclusion that those feelings were because of her... But now... I made another conclusion today... Its not about her... Its about why am i always alone... Why do people have someone to talk to when they need someone, while i dont... Why do i have no one to care for... Maybe thats the reason why i try to look after her... And not because i love her... But im not sure myself if thats the true reason... Only time will slowly make me realise even further...

The only conclusion i can make now is... Im lonely... Everytime when i see pictures of them together... I feel left out... At first i thought it was because i was jealous... That i wasnt with them... But now... Its just that... ......I dont know ...Maybe i feel left out ...Its not i dont have my friends... But the only thing they had done with me was Dota Dota Dota...

There isnt someone that i can talk to among them... That is why i seek them... But... Im after all just his brother... An Add-On to their group... Although they say thats not true... My inner self kept telling me so... They are always busy... With their things to handle... College... Studies... Assignments... I know its selfish of me to say so... But what else can i say...

I guess... Ill try to find someone else... But no matter how many i did find... I will never get closer... Then she is to me now... Miyuki...

Yuriko... Someone that i can ask questions... And also find when i needed someone... No matter how busy she is... She will still reply my message with a warm feeling...

I love them so much... But im smaller than them after all... How am i gonna take care of them...? ...The only thing i can do ...Is fullfil their request ...And try not to tell a lie

......Her ...I dont know anymore ...After many efforts of trying to place me in part of her life ...My efforts were all in waste ...Not a single thing i have done was mention about ...Whats the point of continuing ...Its already been almost 2 years ...How long would it take me .........To just place a little of me in her...

For almost 2 years... I thought i was in love... But now... I dont know anymore... Whats my real target in life... Just loneliness...?